Breaking News: Uncle Tony Souri Shocks the World by Announcing... He’s STILL Not Retired!
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Aurora, IL — In a move that has left absolutely no one surprised (except maybe his golf caddy, who was gearing up for a busy retirement season), Uncle Tony Souri, the world-renowned jeweler with a career spanning over five decades, has officially un-retired from retirement. That’s right—despite rumors flying faster than a Black Friday jewelry sale, Uncle Tony has emphatically declared that he’s not sitting on a beach somewhere sipping piña coladas. In fact, the closest he’s come to “retirement” is polishing someone else’s golden years… literally.
"Retirement? What is This, a Bingo Hall?"
Known for his meticulous craftsmanship and no-nonsense advice, Uncle Tony has been the go-to guy for everything from custom diamond engagement rings to the kind of jewelry repairs that make broken heirlooms shine like new. After spending over 30 years holding court on Chicago’s famous Jeweler's Row, rumors began to swirl that Tony had finally taken off his jeweler's loupe and hung it up for good. But the man himself had a different take.
“Retired? Me? Please!” Uncle Tony scoffed, raising an eyebrow like only a man who's seen way too many cubic zirconias could. “That’s like telling a diamond to stop sparkling! I’ve been doing this for so long, I’m basically fused to my jeweler’s bench at this point. Retirement? I don't even know what that word means!”
Not Slowing Down, Just Moving Around
While the rest of us might be dreaming of early retirement and endless rounds of golf (or at least a few naps), Uncle Tony is diving back into work harder than ever, with a gleam in his eye and plenty of gold in his hands. He’s now booking appointments at three locations, including:
- Howard Pawn: Located in Chicago’s Roger’s Park neighborhood, where Tony’s been dazzling customers with both his jewelry and his sense of humor.
- Cash Pawn: Located in Villa Park, Illinois, the latest spot where Tony’s sharp eye and even sharper wit are always on display.
- His Private Office: Located in Downtown Aurora, where Tony continues to turn diamonds into dreams.
“Retirement is for people who are tired,” Tony chuckled, flashing a smile that could rival a 24-karat chain. “And let me tell you, I’m just getting started! I’ve got more sparkle in me than a disco ball.”
A Jewel of a Man
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting Uncle Tony, you know he’s not just a jeweler—he’s a legend. His love for his craft is rivaled only by his love for a good laugh, and anyone who’s crossed his path has likely left with a story (and maybe even a ring). Even though rumors of his retirement seem to pop up like dandelions in spring, one thing is for sure: Uncle Tony is here to stay—just like the diamonds he works with.
So, if you’re in the market for a custom piece, a repair, or even a good story, now’s the time to book that appointment with Uncle Tony. Don’t wait too long though—rumor has it, he may be the one to retire you.
About Uncle Tony Souri
With over 50 years of experience, Uncle Tony is the true definition of a master jeweler. Specializing in custom designs, diamond engagement rings, and expert repairs, Tony has been a pillar of Chicago’s jewelry community. You can still find him at Howard Pawn in Roger’s Park, Cash Pawn in Villa Park, or his private office in Aurora—if you can keep up with him!
For media inquiries, please contact:
info@HowardPawn.com
630-408-2027
Uncle Tony’s Retirement Countdown: "Yeah, Right."